Chiggy-Wiggy n Masakali

What exactly does "Chiggy-Wiggy" mean ?? *If u have heard the song!*
Is there any difference between "Chiggy Wiggy" of Kylie Minogue and that of Akshay Kumar (sonu Nigam)??

.. I was pondering, listening to Chiggy-Wiggy when i heard something approaching me .. it sounded like a helicopter!! I turned to see if it was really a helicopter but to my surprise it was a Pigeon!! This Stupid, Silly one attacked me and wanted to take my Ipod away! I SCREAMED cuz I got scared!! & the Pigeon got Scared cuz I Screamed!!



Wonder, what the hell was it thinking when it saw Me - Stationary Rock or a Statue??
MY HIGH decibel levels saved me, But scared the poor Masakali. It got scared, crashed landed on the floor, turned, struggled and finally relaunched itself in the open sky!! :

The Damage done - 2 scratch marks on my arm and a slight dent on my Ipod!!

PS.
On a second thought, thank god, the silly one didn't try this on me!!

Gender Bias ?!

Ullu ke patthe!! (Son of an owl!!)
Gadhe ki aulaad !! (Son of a Donkey!!)

You would have seen/heard these monologues when an angry Father scolds his Son..
But have you ever heard a Mother scolding her son "You SOB" ??

:D :D

All u got to have is MONEY!

Nursery - 2 years
Schooling - 12 years
Engineering Degree - 4 years
Work Experience - 3 years

Proof of the above qualification?? - Rs.200 (Rs. 100 for stamp paper + Rs 25 for the Stamps + Rs. 75 for the Advocate).

.. Do not bother to carry the certificates to a Notary for an affidavit cuz no one checks.
BUT DO NOT forget to carry your wallet as nothing works in India without Money!


SIGH!!

Swin-fluenza

I am sure by now, We all have had too much of H1N1 news! If not physically, everyone has been affected MENTALLY with the Swine flu!

Few interesting facts about the flu:

1. Getting off(leave) at work has now become simpler. Sneeze/cough heavily in your Boss's cabin and he/she will send you home!

2. Barack Obama does not have swine flu. This rumor went around after the tour guide Obama met in Mexico died, but not of swine flu.

3. Swine flu inpires new video game(s)!! Can u beat that??!

4. Expecting a mask will protect from swine flu is like believing the fisherman's net will protect one from the mosquitoes!

5. Swine flu Holidays = Watching Pending Movies

6. If flu catches a celebrity, It's called Celebrity swine flu!

7. The most commonly used search engine used to cough up 31,800,000 articles on swine flu before i wrote this post.

8. I don't like giving FREE publicity to any website but just could stop myself from sharing this video!

9 The difference between swine kiss and a swine flu kiss!

The Butterfly

I saw him flutter his wings for the last time..
Saw him struggle to make his last flight possible..
He tried his best..
But it had already been destined by the Almighty..
& He had already made his final flight for the life time..

I sat there.. watching him,
Wondering, if he had had the best last flight he wanted to ..?
Wondered, if he had the chance to taste the sweetest nectar which he ever wanted to..?!
Wondered, if he had done EVERYTHING he had ever wished to..!
"Had He?".. wondered I ..



Our life no different than the ones with the beautiful wings..
Don't wait, spread your wings, Better fly ..
than being a butterfly..

Why we should think n speak!

Conversation between me(Me) and my friend(F) during lunch.
Me n F occupied the table where my other friends (O) were already seated and having lunch.

Me: what is that stink ?? Aren't u guys getting it ??
F & O : No..
Me: Hey No, it is stinking here !! How come u guys are not getting it ??
F: (points to her Lunch Box) Is it this ?
Me: What's that ? :|
F: Fish
Me: oh..!! (Silence)
:|


*No offense meant to anyone!*

Voting Time - My struggle

Election day - the excitement starts early in the morning; the day where the whole "responsibility" of selecting the right candidate for the country "overflows"!

MY Struggle!
*
FYI - In Karnataka, for convenience, we translate the common English words to Kannada by adding an extra 'u' at the end of the word.
For example -
'List' in English
'Listu' in Kannada :)
*

@ 6:30 am -
I with my family reach the polling booth (i know that's a little too early!!). We are reminded that Polling starts only @ 7.
Oops! we opt to go for a morning walk! :)

@ 7 am-
I stand in the queue. My turn comes, but people inside the booth say "Nimma hesaroo, listu nalli illa!! Alli hogee amma, number nodikondu banee!!" (Ur name is not in the list. Go there Mother, see the number and come back!)
FINE, we march back to the "booth help desk", to find our names and number in the list.

@ 7:30 am -
I start wondering when the list will be "Ctrl+F" enabled!
High time 'technology' is introduced in elections!

Unable to find our names, they say - "Aa booth nalli hosaa listu irrathe.. alli nimma hesaru irrathe nodee!" (In that booth, there will be a new list, u will find Ur names there!)

.. We March back. Again back in the queue. This time the Police fella recognizes and gives us a smile. My turn comes and Guess what! I get the same stupid response.. "Ur name is not there is the list!!"
Grrr.. !!

@ 8:00 am -
BACK HOME

@ 8:00 - 8:30 am-
Thought process - "haudoo, yaarge vote-u madodhoo??" (btw, whom should I vote for??) .. BJP naa, Congress-aa ?
Anyway no name in the "listu", what's the point in pondering!

@ 9:00 am-
One of the Help desk local guy delivers the identity number home. We again gear up and go back to the polling booth (Hoping it's the last time for this election!).

@ 9:15 am-
Same Police fella after seeing us for the third time - "Yenu Madaam, Innu vote-u haklilvaa?" (What madam, still haven't voted?)
Me - "Aiyo, Innu Illa, Ivaage number sikthoo.. !!" (Not yet, we got our numbers now!)

I enter the booth..
Polling-Booth-Fellow(PBF) - "Yenamma numberoo??" (What Mother, whats Ur number??)
Me - 1149
PBF searches, finds 1149 (Ah At last!!) BUT, it was some grand ma's pic.
He raises his head, adjusts his spectacles and sees me to see if the grand ma's photo matches with mine!! :|
PBF - "Nimma hesaru illamaa!" (Ur name is not there Mother!!)

OH GOD NOT AGAIN!! :|

Back to Help desk
Me - Yenu idu, tirga hesaru illa anthatre avaru!! (what is this, they again say our names are not there in the list??)

Help desk fella to his assistant- "Nodu rajaa, avara hesaru sareege hudkoo (See my King(dear), search their names properly) .. aamele card kalee beda chinna (and don't lose the card, My 'Gold')

In the mean time some other Help Desk fella - "Madam, Nimma hesaru sikhtalva.. bere booth nalli idde.. 66 alla 67 booth-oo" (Madam, we got Ur names already, its in Booth number 67 and not 66!!)

9:30 am-
I go in, I vote. That beep sound which had scared me Last time, didn't bother me this time!
2 hour struggle to get my index finger coloured with the blue ink..



Sigh!

The mighty Shoe

Man has done it again.
This time he has found the shortest path to get to the Hall of Fame!
It's simple, just take out your shoe, aim n throw it at the right person!
THAT'S IT!! n U will be Famous !!

Who cares these days if one is famous for the right or wrong reason? After all even the word "Infamous" has "Famous" in it!!

The Best part is, once you throw your shoe (be it branded/ good/ bad/ torn) you will end up getting "support" from the rivals of "that" important person. For example, Jarnail Singh, the "Star", who threw his (or his neighbour's!) shoe at the well known Politician won a cash reward of Rs 2,00,000 for his bad aim from Sikh political party Shiromani Akali Dal!
Isn't that just GREAT !?

Well, I will not surprised if someone tomorrow opens an institute an offers a crash course in "Throw-ur-shoe-the-right-way" and make money!!

So next time, Don't throw away your old shoe in the trash. Save it for the future !

ps
My friend asked - "Who will be your TARGET??"
.. well, I am still thinking on that!

Smile :-)

Some things always bring a smile on our face; Like ...

• The infectious smile of an Innocent child
  

• Unexpected rain on a hot arid day

• Seeing that someone special

• The old Photographs

• Reading the old Hand written letters

• Walking bare foot on the lush green grass!

• Sitting on the terrace and watching the world
  

• Seeing People
  

• Floating in water!

• Breathing deeply with your arms wide open
  

• A warm Hug
  

• Watching a baby sleep..

• The feeling after finishing the last exam! :)

• Watching people eat "Center-shock" chewing gum !! :D

• The waves kissing the shore!

• Dancing, like no one is watching!
  

• Seeing an old couple in a movie theater packed with youngsters
  

• Seeing a young couple doing a cozy dance at night, in the beach!
  

• Running on sand
  

• Singing loudly on the beach with the ear phones on!

• Swatting mosquitoes with the electric bat! :D

• Watching the crimson orange Sun, which is all set to set!
  

• Making others smile!

Smile on,
Loads of Love!! :)

SMS

I sms
He/she sms-es the same sms
Then, that's called a "Forward" !

I remember, in College days, I used to send at least 100 sms per day and sometimes even wait till midnight to get the next day's free 100 sms!
Those olden golden days are gone! But certain forwarded messages still do end up exciting me once in while. Last weekend, I got this forward -

"Describe me in one word using first letter of your name"

And I forwarded it to people and got few Interesting replies like -
"Sweet, Mast-mast, Audacious, Adoring, Gifted, Knowledgeable, Scintillating, Masak-kalee"
*well, who doesn't like being praised ??* :)


Then came More Interesting ones from the wicked ones! -
"Saand" (meaning Bull in Hindi) , Pig :D:D:D:D:D:D (with smileys attached)

And finally, Last but not the least, the Best-Worst-Insulting-Description Award goes to this friend of mine, whom i call KP

*our conversation*

Me - So what do say, describe me in one word!
KP - Hmmm.. I cannot call you "Kind"
Me - Areyyy!! Why nottttttttttttt??
KP - Because I have never seen you .. doing anything ... "KIND" !!
Me - HUH! What an insult!!
KP - I cannot call you "Kiddish"
Me - Well, I am ok with that ! Anything else you can think of?

KP - And yes I obviously cannot call you "KINGKONG" !! :D :D
Me - What!?? OFCOURSE NOT!! I think i made a mistake by asking you this question !! :(

*after a while*

KP - Hey! I think I can call you "Kool", with the 'K' in the cool
Me - Oh ya? something like "Amul kool" ?!
KP - How about this one, "Knock-Down-Beauty"??? :D
Me - Grrrr.. enough, lets get back to work!!

I caught Myself staring!

I see him. But thankfully, he doesn't see me seeing him. That gives me the courage to see him again.
He is busy. I see him again to see what keeps him so busy. It is his iphone. Possibly, it is a movie that keeps him busy. Though physically occupying the side upper berth in the train but he is pre-occupied in his own world. He is traveling alone, but definitely ain't lonely. The volume is high and i hear a language which i am not familiar with. He is a foreigner, possibly German or French (Now, That is most common guesses i make!) ;)

Only when i decide to look elsewhere, he does something; and holds my attention. He Smiles.. gently, innocently looking at his iphone. Then all of sudden, his smile turns into a chuckle!
While seeing all this, i momentarily realize just one thing.. All the while, unknowingly, i had been smiling too!
An infectious smile!

He continues to watch the movie and i decide to stop (staring & typing on my phone!) hit the bed.. errr .. i mean the berth ..!
Night! :)

ps.
In the Morning, I spoke to him.
This gentleman found opening the Indian Railway door difficult.
Well, i don't blame him for this!
Unlocking doors in Indian trains require some logical thinking.. !
Don't you think so ? :)