All u got to have is MONEY!

Nursery - 2 years
Schooling - 12 years
Engineering Degree - 4 years
Work Experience - 3 years

Proof of the above qualification?? - Rs.200 (Rs. 100 for stamp paper + Rs 25 for the Stamps + Rs. 75 for the Advocate).

.. Do not bother to carry the certificates to a Notary for an affidavit cuz no one checks.
BUT DO NOT forget to carry your wallet as nothing works in India without Money!


SIGH!!

Swin-fluenza

I am sure by now, We all have had too much of H1N1 news! If not physically, everyone has been affected MENTALLY with the Swine flu!

Few interesting facts about the flu:

1. Getting off(leave) at work has now become simpler. Sneeze/cough heavily in your Boss's cabin and he/she will send you home!

2. Barack Obama does not have swine flu. This rumor went around after the tour guide Obama met in Mexico died, but not of swine flu.

3. Swine flu inpires new video game(s)!! Can u beat that??!

4. Expecting a mask will protect from swine flu is like believing the fisherman's net will protect one from the mosquitoes!

5. Swine flu Holidays = Watching Pending Movies

6. If flu catches a celebrity, It's called Celebrity swine flu!

7. The most commonly used search engine used to cough up 31,800,000 articles on swine flu before i wrote this post.

8. I don't like giving FREE publicity to any website but just could stop myself from sharing this video!

9 The difference between swine kiss and a swine flu kiss!

The Butterfly

I saw him flutter his wings for the last time..
Saw him struggle to make his last flight possible..
He tried his best..
But it had already been destined by the Almighty..
& He had already made his final flight for the life time..

I sat there.. watching him,
Wondering, if he had had the best last flight he wanted to ..?
Wondered, if he had the chance to taste the sweetest nectar which he ever wanted to..?!
Wondered, if he had done EVERYTHING he had ever wished to..!
"Had He?".. wondered I ..



Our life no different than the ones with the beautiful wings..
Don't wait, spread your wings, Better fly ..
than being a butterfly..

Why we should think n speak!

Conversation between me(Me) and my friend(F) during lunch.
Me n F occupied the table where my other friends (O) were already seated and having lunch.

Me: what is that stink ?? Aren't u guys getting it ??
F & O : No..
Me: Hey No, it is stinking here !! How come u guys are not getting it ??
F: (points to her Lunch Box) Is it this ?
Me: What's that ? :|
F: Fish
Me: oh..!! (Silence)
:|


*No offense meant to anyone!*

Voting Time - My struggle

Election day - the excitement starts early in the morning; the day where the whole "responsibility" of selecting the right candidate for the country "overflows"!

MY Struggle!
*
FYI - In Karnataka, for convenience, we translate the common English words to Kannada by adding an extra 'u' at the end of the word.
For example -
'List' in English
'Listu' in Kannada :)
*

@ 6:30 am -
I with my family reach the polling booth (i know that's a little too early!!). We are reminded that Polling starts only @ 7.
Oops! we opt to go for a morning walk! :)

@ 7 am-
I stand in the queue. My turn comes, but people inside the booth say "Nimma hesaroo, listu nalli illa!! Alli hogee amma, number nodikondu banee!!" (Ur name is not in the list. Go there Mother, see the number and come back!)
FINE, we march back to the "booth help desk", to find our names and number in the list.

@ 7:30 am -
I start wondering when the list will be "Ctrl+F" enabled!
High time 'technology' is introduced in elections!

Unable to find our names, they say - "Aa booth nalli hosaa listu irrathe.. alli nimma hesaru irrathe nodee!" (In that booth, there will be a new list, u will find Ur names there!)

.. We March back. Again back in the queue. This time the Police fella recognizes and gives us a smile. My turn comes and Guess what! I get the same stupid response.. "Ur name is not there is the list!!"
Grrr.. !!

@ 8:00 am -
BACK HOME

@ 8:00 - 8:30 am-
Thought process - "haudoo, yaarge vote-u madodhoo??" (btw, whom should I vote for??) .. BJP naa, Congress-aa ?
Anyway no name in the "listu", what's the point in pondering!

@ 9:00 am-
One of the Help desk local guy delivers the identity number home. We again gear up and go back to the polling booth (Hoping it's the last time for this election!).

@ 9:15 am-
Same Police fella after seeing us for the third time - "Yenu Madaam, Innu vote-u haklilvaa?" (What madam, still haven't voted?)
Me - "Aiyo, Innu Illa, Ivaage number sikthoo.. !!" (Not yet, we got our numbers now!)

I enter the booth..
Polling-Booth-Fellow(PBF) - "Yenamma numberoo??" (What Mother, whats Ur number??)
Me - 1149
PBF searches, finds 1149 (Ah At last!!) BUT, it was some grand ma's pic.
He raises his head, adjusts his spectacles and sees me to see if the grand ma's photo matches with mine!! :|
PBF - "Nimma hesaru illamaa!" (Ur name is not there Mother!!)

OH GOD NOT AGAIN!! :|

Back to Help desk
Me - Yenu idu, tirga hesaru illa anthatre avaru!! (what is this, they again say our names are not there in the list??)

Help desk fella to his assistant- "Nodu rajaa, avara hesaru sareege hudkoo (See my King(dear), search their names properly) .. aamele card kalee beda chinna (and don't lose the card, My 'Gold')

In the mean time some other Help Desk fella - "Madam, Nimma hesaru sikhtalva.. bere booth nalli idde.. 66 alla 67 booth-oo" (Madam, we got Ur names already, its in Booth number 67 and not 66!!)

9:30 am-
I go in, I vote. That beep sound which had scared me Last time, didn't bother me this time!
2 hour struggle to get my index finger coloured with the blue ink..



Sigh!

The mighty Shoe

Man has done it again.
This time he has found the shortest path to get to the Hall of Fame!
It's simple, just take out your shoe, aim n throw it at the right person!
THAT'S IT!! n U will be Famous !!

Who cares these days if one is famous for the right or wrong reason? After all even the word "Infamous" has "Famous" in it!!

The Best part is, once you throw your shoe (be it branded/ good/ bad/ torn) you will end up getting "support" from the rivals of "that" important person. For example, Jarnail Singh, the "Star", who threw his (or his neighbour's!) shoe at the well known Politician won a cash reward of Rs 2,00,000 for his bad aim from Sikh political party Shiromani Akali Dal!
Isn't that just GREAT !?

Well, I will not surprised if someone tomorrow opens an institute an offers a crash course in "Throw-ur-shoe-the-right-way" and make money!!

So next time, Don't throw away your old shoe in the trash. Save it for the future !

ps
My friend asked - "Who will be your TARGET??"
.. well, I am still thinking on that!

Smile :-)

Some things always bring a smile on our face; Like ...

• The infectious smile of an Innocent child
  

• Unexpected rain on a hot arid day

• Seeing that someone special

• The old Photographs

• Reading the old Hand written letters

• Walking bare foot on the lush green grass!

• Sitting on the terrace and watching the world
  

• Seeing People
  

• Floating in water!

• Breathing deeply with your arms wide open
  

• A warm Hug
  

• Watching a baby sleep..

• The feeling after finishing the last exam! :)

• Watching people eat "Center-shock" chewing gum !! :D

• The waves kissing the shore!

• Dancing, like no one is watching!
  

• Seeing an old couple in a movie theater packed with youngsters
  

• Seeing a young couple doing a cozy dance at night, in the beach!
  

• Running on sand
  

• Singing loudly on the beach with the ear phones on!

• Swatting mosquitoes with the electric bat! :D

• Watching the crimson orange Sun, which is all set to set!
  

• Making others smile!

Smile on,
Loads of Love!! :)

SMS

I sms
He/she sms-es the same sms
Then, that's called a "Forward" !

I remember, in College days, I used to send at least 100 sms per day and sometimes even wait till midnight to get the next day's free 100 sms!
Those olden golden days are gone! But certain forwarded messages still do end up exciting me once in while. Last weekend, I got this forward -

"Describe me in one word using first letter of your name"

And I forwarded it to people and got few Interesting replies like -
"Sweet, Mast-mast, Audacious, Adoring, Gifted, Knowledgeable, Scintillating, Masak-kalee"
*well, who doesn't like being praised ??* :)


Then came More Interesting ones from the wicked ones! -
"Saand" (meaning Bull in Hindi) , Pig :D:D:D:D:D:D (with smileys attached)

And finally, Last but not the least, the Best-Worst-Insulting-Description Award goes to this friend of mine, whom i call KP

*our conversation*

Me - So what do say, describe me in one word!
KP - Hmmm.. I cannot call you "Kind"
Me - Areyyy!! Why nottttttttttttt??
KP - Because I have never seen you .. doing anything ... "KIND" !!
Me - HUH! What an insult!!
KP - I cannot call you "Kiddish"
Me - Well, I am ok with that ! Anything else you can think of?

KP - And yes I obviously cannot call you "KINGKONG" !! :D :D
Me - What!?? OFCOURSE NOT!! I think i made a mistake by asking you this question !! :(

*after a while*

KP - Hey! I think I can call you "Kool", with the 'K' in the cool
Me - Oh ya? something like "Amul kool" ?!
KP - How about this one, "Knock-Down-Beauty"??? :D
Me - Grrrr.. enough, lets get back to work!!

I caught Myself staring!

I see him. But thankfully, he doesn't see me seeing him. That gives me the courage to see him again.
He is busy. I see him again to see what keeps him so busy. It is his iphone. Possibly, it is a movie that keeps him busy. Though physically occupying the side upper berth in the train but he is pre-occupied in his own world. He is traveling alone, but definitely ain't lonely. The volume is high and i hear a language which i am not familiar with. He is a foreigner, possibly German or French (Now, That is most common guesses i make!) ;)

Only when i decide to look elsewhere, he does something; and holds my attention. He Smiles.. gently, innocently looking at his iphone. Then all of sudden, his smile turns into a chuckle!
While seeing all this, i momentarily realize just one thing.. All the while, unknowingly, i had been smiling too!
An infectious smile!

He continues to watch the movie and i decide to stop (staring & typing on my phone!) hit the bed.. errr .. i mean the berth ..!
Night! :)

ps.
In the Morning, I spoke to him.
This gentleman found opening the Indian Railway door difficult.
Well, i don't blame him for this!
Unlocking doors in Indian trains require some logical thinking.. !
Don't you think so ? :)

A Tribute

My heart goes out to the brave soldiers, their families and to all my the fellow Indians. Lets keep the fire burning and let not the sacrifice go waste this time.

A Soldier is Never Dead, until and unless he is forgotten ...
God bless!

which.came.first.chicken.or.egg

A Joint venture,
A shared account,
An Output of 2 idle minds..!


which.came.first.chicken.or.egg

Turn-off Factor

It's been 5 minutes that he left my place.
But I still feel his presence. Wonder if its the centralized AC which
makes me feel that way or just the stupid nose of mine which is not letting go the air it breathed just few minutes ago.

'He', my colleague just walked over to say the final Good bye before quitting the company. Everything was fine until he opened his mouth. I literally had to push my chair 4 feet back from it's original position. The gush of wind can have so much of an impact.
BAD breath !!
God! It's such a turn off factor!!

How can one not know how to brush properly ?? Is it the lack of Dentist camps in school days which make people careless ? or is it simply laziness ?!
How can the 'close' friends, parents, relatives choose not to complain ? Don't they find it disgusting?
If not them, who can really tell them that they need to see the dentist IMMEDIATELY for a clean up!?
Gosh!
God Bless ALL.

PS.
Did Sleeping beauty have the habit of brushing twice?!
I'll assume she did; otherwise Prince charming wouldn't have cared, dared or even risked a kiss!
:|

What should i name this now ??

I am bad at Naming! Be it for a pet, a post or a blog. I feel it's something i am absolutely bad at!!
I struggle (n struggle n struggle). But never find a name that satisfies me (or others :|)!

Initially, I had named my blog krypticsilence, with a justification that 'silence is cryptic'!! Though that's true but the name originated from the fact that i was reading 'Cryptography' that time, when the lightning struck and i decided to name my blog krypticsilence!

Well past is past and it's swirlingchocolate now (I know, i know, u know cuz u are already here reading all this!).

Let me end this gibberish post with an highly uninteresting pic of swirlingchocolate.

Love :)

Bachna ae Haseeno!!

“Bachna-Hasna”
“Bachna-Hasna”
“Bachna-Hasna”
.. No shpelling mistake there, just some original lingual mishtake from the guy who was selling the tickets in black!
Got the tickets in black, but it was worth it. Jam packed theatre, with crowd hooting every now and then, made it even more entertaining!

I call this movie a typical ‘Bollywood Masala’.
The Exotic locations, catchy songs, one Hero with looks and skills, overly flaunted with 3 beautiful ladies! Does the director need anything more to make the movie a hit? (Of course, he needs a Producer!!)

So what’s the story all about?!
Simple, it’s Bhel Puri of DDLJ, Salaam Namaste and Yashraj magic.
Ranbir Kapoor (Raj) seems to have only one goal – Woo woman, whoever walks into his life by chance, by mistake. He impresses and wins over, but only to ditch them later. When his ‘original’ love gets rejected, he realises his mistakes and decides to go tell them ‘Sorry’.
Though the story is most of the times predictable it keeps the viewers entertained. Surely, a ‘paisa-wasool’ flick.

One thing I find common in Yashraj movies is ‘the Decade history for a ticket’ – What I mean is the story in the movie will start in 1996 and but end after a decade. Remember, Veer (SRK) waiting for Zaara (Preity) for 20 years? *yawn*

Anyway, I would rate this one 7.5/10
Why 7.5? (Especially that .5?)
1. Cuz’ I took a mean of 7 and 8.
2. The Exotic locations! Colourful Songs!
3. Aging of Ranbir looks natural in the movie. With specs and formals he looks older.
4. For Kunal Kapoor :D :D

The So- So factor about the movie?
1. The Reel-Real couple
2. The predictable storyline
3. The Theatre seats!! :|

Go ahead, watch it if you still haven’t!
Cyaaaa ! :)

Jaane Tu (about the review) ...Ya Jaane na ??

.. If not, let me throw a little light on the subject.
Just watched Aamir's latest production 'Jaane Tu..Ya Jaane na', more popularly known as just 'Jaane tu..'.

The theater was jam packed with mostly the college going crowd (all thanks to the timely release, where students are just done with their exams!).
Imran Khan's cute innocent look and smile happens to do the magic, especially with the female audience! He surely has proven his potential and acting capabilities. Genelia looks charming as ever. Definitely, a great launching platform for the new star in making!

But still, i would rate the movie 6 on 10.

.. Now, That's because of the weak storyline which has nothing 'extra ordinary' to offer. It disappoints especially those who enter the theater with a lot of expectations! The first half is boring and dragging. The second half catches up a little with some action and drama; this will surely keep you awake!! The movie fails to make it to the top spot because of it's much 'expected' twists in the story. But even then, the fresh faces are refreshing to watch!

What i Liked -
The 2 'catchy' songs and the 'New' Khan

What i Disliked!
1. The Lyrics
2. The jokes, most of which were not even close to being funny

Will i watch it again ?!
Hmmm.. All Depends on the company i have the next time!! *wink* ;)

Is it worth Watching ?
.. If u have got absolutely nothing to do in the weekend and have no hopes from the movie, movie maker or whosoever.. Go watch it.
It's a decent bollywood flick.

ALL THE BEST!

The ink on my finger!

At last!
I used the right i have been gifted with - 'The Right to vote' ! :)

Like any other first time voter, i too had my apprehensions about the procedure of voting. I had questions like -
- How to vote?
- What's the procedure?
- Which button to press!?

I felt like a child. It made me feel as if i was standing in a queue for an exam or a viva voce..!
But at the end, except for the looooooong beep from voting machine which made me feel a little scared, rest all turned out to be simple and fine.
(Now, that was because i had pressed and held the button too long)
:D




.. the ink on my finger fades away but i wanted to put here for rememberance.
Love.

ps.
Have u voted?
Write to me if u need some coaching classes on that.
It's absolutely FREE !! :D

What to gift ??

When it comes to deciding 'Birthday' & 'Anniversary' Gifts, I really do
sweat for the small stuff. Be it a for a guy or girl, I never find it easy to come up with the best Gift !

Plus, I feel one has to be carefully choosing 'gifts'. I feel classify them broadly into two different categories - Personal and General.

Personal -
For the dear ones... people whom you can gift just anything! Gifting 'Perfumes/Deo/Shirts/T-Shirts' to your colleagues can be risky, as it gives them a chance to draw unnecessary conclusions! ;-)


4 May is approaching and I struggle to find the 'Ideal' gift for my dear friend. I seek my other 'Resourceful' friend and ask him for his suggestions. Our Conversation -

Me - Do you guys like the idea of flowers?
He - Naaaaaaah!! We don’t!!
We generally like stuff which is "Useful”!

Me - yeah, I understand... even I don’t understand why guys think girls always like Teddy's. receiving 3 'Teddy's' on a single birthday can make one really crazy!
So what else can u suggest?

He - Shaving kit
Me - Okay... what else?
How about Perfume/Deo?
He - Yeah... Deos are the best!
Me - o k .. He might like it then..
He - Pen
He - Comb
Me - :|
How will I know the kind of 'Comb' he likes/wants!!

He - Does he play any instrument?
Me - Naah! He is not that talented!! :P

@ My Friend whoz birthday is approaching - Don't kill me for this, I just meant you don't play instruments!!)

Me - Nail Polish?? ;D
He - :
Me - Don't you guys have such fantasies like applying some weird color on your nails, ever?? :D
He - NO !!

Back to square one !!

I ended up getting few more ideas like-
- Books
- Clothes
- Accessories - sounds good!
- Bottle of champagne ( No idea if he has tried that before! )
- T Shirts

But when it comes to gifting people abroad, sending gifts online is i guess the best. If you have run out time/cash, you can definitely look for some e-cards.
Now that's what I finally settled for :
( but, I do intend to pay back with interest next time :) )

Ps.
.. Happy Birthday Dear!! :D
This post is especially for to you :)
Lots of love

The Ladies Loo

:)
Hi! Does anyone still come here? Don't know about you but at last I am here after a very long time.

Q: So what kept me away?
1. Work?
2. WORK!
3. All of the Above

Naah! It’s Simple... it's the fourth option - My laziness! :D

Anyway, Bad that I am back. Because that means more silly stuff from my end.

If it's about life, I am sure my dear readers will come back with Long POSTS in my comment box (Right?!) :)
Or
If it's about jokes... Well... I am not worried them 'cuz nobosy understands them usually other than me. (Now FYI - that was another joke)

Getting back to business - "The Ladies Loo"

.. It's the book which brings me here (which I found had a more interesting title than the content!). "The Men's Guide to the Women's Bathroom" - Interesting? The book will definitely interest guys more as the author writes about the things what we, ladies generally do in the Women's loo. I mean the "other" things than the usual business.

Like -
1. Gossip about the latest flicks. How bad they are or at least for what and why we like hero(s) more than heroine(s).
2. About cosmetics, Clothes, Jewellery...
3. About Guys :) Yes, I accept we do!
4. Attend Calls. I mean especially the important 'Phone' calls!!
5. Crib about anything like the AC, Food, Boss. Now, this place is safe ONLY if one doesn't have a Lady Boss! :)
... Blah Blah.

Whatever it is, I am sure the Girl's Loo is definitely a more relaxing one than the Guy's!

Q: What makes me say that?

1. You will never find any author coming up with book titled "The Women's Guide to the Men's Bathroom"! :
2. Personal experience - ALL Thanks to the Misleading Toilet Signs, I happened to visit this place once.
3. All of the Above?

Ans - Option 3.

Luckily, 'this' place was empty. I call it 'Lucky' because finding something there could had been definitely more embarrassing!!

Confessions of a Confused mind

Am I selfish?!

Or

Is it that the world around me has turned selfish?!

.. Sometimes such questions trouble me, make me think and leave me in a confused state of mind with unanswered questions. Even if I choose to answer them, it will end me up nowhere. If I conclude with 'I’m selfish’, it shows I’m a pessimist. but if a choose the second option, 'Considering' that others are selfish... I’ll be left with no other awful thing to do! It will be like following the 'offense is the best defense' policy !

Recently, I happened to call a friend of mine.

Call 1 -

Me: Hey! :) How are you doing?

She: I'm fine, good ! So...

Me: you should tell me... howz life and et al?!

She: Ya, great... what else? Tell me up?

(Basically, she meant what’s UR purpose of calling?)

ME: Nothing much... Just called to say 'Hi'!
...

..Though this call went on for sometime, I hated the way it started. Is it that nowadays people don’t call each other without a purpose? Can’t a friend just call to find out how the other is doing?

Clearly & thankfully, the answer to such questions is 'NO.'
But it just hurts to be at the receiving end!

Call 2-

Me: Hieee :)

She: Hey, how are you?

Me: I'm fine. How about you?

She: fine, when did you come?

ME: Yesterday morning...

She: okay... so, tell me...

Me: Ah, Nothing... just thought of saying a Hi.
...

:|

Not Again!

Now, I don’t know if it’s me who is fussing over it too much!!
Don’t know if it’s completely right to ask always the caller immediately the 'purpose' of the call. To me, it’s just an odd feeling, which people gift unknowingly.

Or

May be, I should just start Accepting things rather than Expecting!

Love.

The Deep Contrast

.. I was 'busy' checking my not so very important mails, when a guy approached me from behind and wished "Hello Maam!!". It took me a second to realize that he was one of my ex-colleagues, who had recently quit the company. He had come with an invitation card. It was his wedding card.

First, He invited me courteously for his wedding. Then the next thing what he said, made me ponder. Even before I could ask what the girl did, from where she was, he said "you know the girl"!
I started wondering who this person could be... but before I could flex my brains, he said he was tying the knot with Ratna (name changed).

Though the name sounded familiar, I wasn't sure if the lady whom I was thinking about was the same. To help me out he took out his mobile, to show the picture of the woman he was all set to marry. The moment I saw the picture, I recognized her. In the pic, Ratna was holding a kid. Not knowing how to continue with the conversation, I asked him "Who is this Kid”?!
Without taking more than a second he answered ".. She is widow".

That single sentence was enough to tell me about their story. The story of Ratna, her kid and the new person in her life.

To me it was commendable cuz not everyone is Arun Nayar or Liz Hurley. These people are not from the High Society. But from the class, to which to the common man belongs to… the Middle class.

But unfortunately, not every time everyone is lucky…

Recently, my friend was talking about her cousin who had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, after an year of married life. The Girl's Parents didn’t want their son-in-law to carry 'the burden' as they thought they were newly married and he had a long way to go in his life ! Finally, it was left to the guy to make a decision about his life.

He decided and decided to say quits.
The fairy tale ended with a Divorce.

I wonder what the girl would have done if her husband was in her position... Taken care of her husband or just abandoned him?

Considering and keeping in mind the Indian society, the culture, I’ll am sure the woman would have stood by her man. At least, thats what happens most commonly in most of the cases, specifically the middle class.

I am not blaming the society or the guy for what he did… Cuz 'to judge' who is right, who should have done what and what not, will be the easiest thing to do.. I’ll just leave it here depicting the Deep contrast in our society...

If you see closely and happen to see an unlucky divorcee on one side, you'll definitely end up seeing a 'Lucky' widow on the other.. !
(Paradox?!)

Best Wishes.