My Current Condition!

Chiggy-Wiggy n Masakali

What exactly does "Chiggy-Wiggy" mean ?? *If u have heard the song!*
Is there any difference between "Chiggy Wiggy" of Kylie Minogue and that of Akshay Kumar (sonu Nigam)??

.. I was pondering, listening to Chiggy-Wiggy when i heard something approaching me .. it sounded like a helicopter!! I turned to see if it was really a helicopter but to my surprise it was a Pigeon!! This Stupid, Silly one attacked me and wanted to take my Ipod away! I SCREAMED cuz I got scared!! & the Pigeon got Scared cuz I Screamed!!



Wonder, what the hell was it thinking when it saw Me - Stationary Rock or a Statue??
MY HIGH decibel levels saved me, But scared the poor Masakali. It got scared, crashed landed on the floor, turned, struggled and finally relaunched itself in the open sky!! :

The Damage done - 2 scratch marks on my arm and a slight dent on my Ipod!!

PS.
On a second thought, thank god, the silly one didn't try this on me!!

Gender Bias ?!

Ullu ke patthe!! (Son of an owl!!)
Gadhe ki aulaad !! (Son of a Donkey!!)

You would have seen/heard these monologues when an angry Father scolds his Son..
But have you ever heard a Mother scolding her son "You SOB" ??

:D :D

Swin-fluenza

I am sure by now, We all have had too much of H1N1 news! If not physically, everyone has been affected MENTALLY with the Swine flu!

Few interesting facts about the flu:

1. Getting off(leave) at work has now become simpler. Sneeze/cough heavily in your Boss's cabin and he/she will send you home!

2. Barack Obama does not have swine flu. This rumor went around after the tour guide Obama met in Mexico died, but not of swine flu.

3. Swine flu inpires new video game(s)!! Can u beat that??!

4. Expecting a mask will protect from swine flu is like believing the fisherman's net will protect one from the mosquitoes!

5. Swine flu Holidays = Watching Pending Movies

6. If flu catches a celebrity, It's called Celebrity swine flu!

7. The most commonly used search engine used to cough up 31,800,000 articles on swine flu before i wrote this post.

8. I don't like giving FREE publicity to any website but just could stop myself from sharing this video!

9 The difference between swine kiss and a swine flu kiss!

Smile :-)

Some things always bring a smile on our face; Like ...

• The infectious smile of an Innocent child
  

• Unexpected rain on a hot arid day

• Seeing that someone special

• The old Photographs

• Reading the old Hand written letters

• Walking bare foot on the lush green grass!

• Sitting on the terrace and watching the world
  

• Seeing People
  

• Floating in water!

• Breathing deeply with your arms wide open
  

• A warm Hug
  

• Watching a baby sleep..

• The feeling after finishing the last exam! :)

• Watching people eat "Center-shock" chewing gum !! :D

• The waves kissing the shore!

• Dancing, like no one is watching!
  

• Seeing an old couple in a movie theater packed with youngsters
  

• Seeing a young couple doing a cozy dance at night, in the beach!
  

• Running on sand
  

• Singing loudly on the beach with the ear phones on!

• Swatting mosquitoes with the electric bat! :D

• Watching the crimson orange Sun, which is all set to set!
  

• Making others smile!

Smile on,
Loads of Love!! :)

SMS

I sms
He/she sms-es the same sms
Then, that's called a "Forward" !

I remember, in College days, I used to send at least 100 sms per day and sometimes even wait till midnight to get the next day's free 100 sms!
Those olden golden days are gone! But certain forwarded messages still do end up exciting me once in while. Last weekend, I got this forward -

"Describe me in one word using first letter of your name"

And I forwarded it to people and got few Interesting replies like -
"Sweet, Mast-mast, Audacious, Adoring, Gifted, Knowledgeable, Scintillating, Masak-kalee"
*well, who doesn't like being praised ??* :)


Then came More Interesting ones from the wicked ones! -
"Saand" (meaning Bull in Hindi) , Pig :D:D:D:D:D:D (with smileys attached)

And finally, Last but not the least, the Best-Worst-Insulting-Description Award goes to this friend of mine, whom i call KP

*our conversation*

Me - So what do say, describe me in one word!
KP - Hmmm.. I cannot call you "Kind"
Me - Areyyy!! Why nottttttttttttt??
KP - Because I have never seen you .. doing anything ... "KIND" !!
Me - HUH! What an insult!!
KP - I cannot call you "Kiddish"
Me - Well, I am ok with that ! Anything else you can think of?

KP - And yes I obviously cannot call you "KINGKONG" !! :D :D
Me - What!?? OFCOURSE NOT!! I think i made a mistake by asking you this question !! :(

*after a while*

KP - Hey! I think I can call you "Kool", with the 'K' in the cool
Me - Oh ya? something like "Amul kool" ?!
KP - How about this one, "Knock-Down-Beauty"??? :D
Me - Grrrr.. enough, lets get back to work!!

which.came.first.chicken.or.egg

A Joint venture,
A shared account,
An Output of 2 idle minds..!


which.came.first.chicken.or.egg

What to gift ??

When it comes to deciding 'Birthday' & 'Anniversary' Gifts, I really do
sweat for the small stuff. Be it a for a guy or girl, I never find it easy to come up with the best Gift !

Plus, I feel one has to be carefully choosing 'gifts'. I feel classify them broadly into two different categories - Personal and General.

Personal -
For the dear ones... people whom you can gift just anything! Gifting 'Perfumes/Deo/Shirts/T-Shirts' to your colleagues can be risky, as it gives them a chance to draw unnecessary conclusions! ;-)


4 May is approaching and I struggle to find the 'Ideal' gift for my dear friend. I seek my other 'Resourceful' friend and ask him for his suggestions. Our Conversation -

Me - Do you guys like the idea of flowers?
He - Naaaaaaah!! We don’t!!
We generally like stuff which is "Useful”!

Me - yeah, I understand... even I don’t understand why guys think girls always like Teddy's. receiving 3 'Teddy's' on a single birthday can make one really crazy!
So what else can u suggest?

He - Shaving kit
Me - Okay... what else?
How about Perfume/Deo?
He - Yeah... Deos are the best!
Me - o k .. He might like it then..
He - Pen
He - Comb
Me - :|
How will I know the kind of 'Comb' he likes/wants!!

He - Does he play any instrument?
Me - Naah! He is not that talented!! :P

@ My Friend whoz birthday is approaching - Don't kill me for this, I just meant you don't play instruments!!)

Me - Nail Polish?? ;D
He - :
Me - Don't you guys have such fantasies like applying some weird color on your nails, ever?? :D
He - NO !!

Back to square one !!

I ended up getting few more ideas like-
- Books
- Clothes
- Accessories - sounds good!
- Bottle of champagne ( No idea if he has tried that before! )
- T Shirts

But when it comes to gifting people abroad, sending gifts online is i guess the best. If you have run out time/cash, you can definitely look for some e-cards.
Now that's what I finally settled for :
( but, I do intend to pay back with interest next time :) )

Ps.
.. Happy Birthday Dear!! :D
This post is especially for to you :)
Lots of love

The Ladies Loo

:)
Hi! Does anyone still come here? Don't know about you but at last I am here after a very long time.

Q: So what kept me away?
1. Work?
2. WORK!
3. All of the Above

Naah! It’s Simple... it's the fourth option - My laziness! :D

Anyway, Bad that I am back. Because that means more silly stuff from my end.

If it's about life, I am sure my dear readers will come back with Long POSTS in my comment box (Right?!) :)
Or
If it's about jokes... Well... I am not worried them 'cuz nobosy understands them usually other than me. (Now FYI - that was another joke)

Getting back to business - "The Ladies Loo"

.. It's the book which brings me here (which I found had a more interesting title than the content!). "The Men's Guide to the Women's Bathroom" - Interesting? The book will definitely interest guys more as the author writes about the things what we, ladies generally do in the Women's loo. I mean the "other" things than the usual business.

Like -
1. Gossip about the latest flicks. How bad they are or at least for what and why we like hero(s) more than heroine(s).
2. About cosmetics, Clothes, Jewellery...
3. About Guys :) Yes, I accept we do!
4. Attend Calls. I mean especially the important 'Phone' calls!!
5. Crib about anything like the AC, Food, Boss. Now, this place is safe ONLY if one doesn't have a Lady Boss! :)
... Blah Blah.

Whatever it is, I am sure the Girl's Loo is definitely a more relaxing one than the Guy's!

Q: What makes me say that?

1. You will never find any author coming up with book titled "The Women's Guide to the Men's Bathroom"! :
2. Personal experience - ALL Thanks to the Misleading Toilet Signs, I happened to visit this place once.
3. All of the Above?

Ans - Option 3.

Luckily, 'this' place was empty. I call it 'Lucky' because finding something there could had been definitely more embarrassing!!

ALL work NO play

Nowadays, I'm more or less in this situation..

But, I'll be back soon ! :)

Till then,
Take care ;)

Cute S/W Guy & Life !

Cute

Software Guy

Life

Lyrics Kum ??

Not Glass
Not Stole
Cold air is also against us
Mother in law
Its so chilly take somebody's guilt go and take fire from neighbours stove
Lit up the ciggi from liver oh lover
There is lot of fire in the liver
Daan Doong Dudung Daan Doong Dudung......
Do not take out smoke from the lips dont take out the smoke from the lips
The world is very crooked
Lit up the ciggi from the liver oh lover
There is lot of fire in the liver
Its so chilly take somebody's guilt go and take fire from neighbours stove
Take fire from neighbours stove

Not Glass
Not Stole
Cold air is also against us
Mother in law
Its so chilly take somebody's guilt go and take fire from neighbours stove
Take fire from neighbours stove
Yeah Yeah
Not Crime
Not Chaos
Without sin died ..

… Wondering if I started poetry.. ?? :o

Relax! I haven’t.
Let me assure you, even if that happens one day, it will not be as disastorous as this one.
Getting back to the vacuous lines .. If it’s not poetry, then what is it?!

Any idea ?!
NO ??
(For the benefit of doubt I’ll imagine you have no clue ! :P)
… it’s a Song, rather few lines from a song.

Surprised ?!

Well, Don’t be !! Cuz this is how the songs are written nowadays!
It’s the exact translation of one of the Hindi songs in English.. “Beedi jalayi le”.. ( If you listen to Hindi music you will be familiar with this song).

If we concentrate on the songs that are written nowadays, I feel just anyone can become a lyricist overnight. If incase one day, my boss kicks me out of my current job, I’ll definitely try this option! Cuz’ the only thing that plays a key role in making a song HIT, is the usage of the correct “foreground process”. By “foreground process”, I mean here the right portion of “Latkaas n Zhatkaas”, the right girl and the proper beats.

Gone are the days when a Lyricist used to spend hours together to come up with a beautiful song… but now it’s a way simpler… Be Arabic, French or anything.. All that matters “the crazy Janta” is the “Beats” (n music) and NOT the lyrics. There used to be one time when Heroines draped in colourful sarees / body hugging salwars, with their appealing buns at the zenith used to jump around the trees and bushes n sing “meaningful” songs.. with their Heroes, who used to be clad in multi-coloured shirts n tight pants!

But now, it’s different.
Times have changed and so have the ways to evince the feelings …For example, earlier if a heroine wanted to profess her love, she would take her own sweet time to blush and sing sensuously –

“Chura liya hai tumne jo Dilko..; nazar nahin churaana sanam.. ”

But NOW, it’s Direct! :D
Today’s modern “Naari” chooses to jump around here n there and sing –

“Crazy kiya re..” !!
*Tanan_tanan*
“Crazy kiya re..” !!

Or If I optimistically start looking at the changes the lyricists have brought in, I find that women are being portrayed as Daring & Dashing.
Earlier, to seduce a hero, the heroine would shyly sing –

“ Nahi nahi, abhi nahi thoda karo intezaar..”

.. and make the poor guy wait.
Btw, did the poor guy have any other choice other than waiting ??
Anyway, But NOW –
She has changed and no more a coy. She uses a direct and a faster approach by singing -

“Touch me… don’t touch…oh touch me soniya!”

… Even though she initially confuses the hero but at the end “Asks for what She wants” !!
:D

Hope this healthy trend continues without fading Lyricism, Cuz’ for music lovers like me, only good Lyrics can quench the thirst.

Will the Crazy girls woo the crazy audience with some non-crazy “lyrics” next time ?!
... I guess to answer this, we will have to sit back and watch!
:)

Question Hour

The word politics is derived from the word "poly" meaning many and "ticks" meaning blood sucking parasites ~ Dave Barry

Funny, isn’t it?!

:D

(Ok, the ones who found the quote funny, please proceed further and for those who did not, proceed any which way! :P )

* Does Karunanidhi wear night vision goggles?? If yes, is an all green world more interesting ?!

* Will the Politicians ever earn 6-figure salary OFFICIALLY?

* Is Women's Reservation Bill = Men's Insecurity feeling??

* When will Laloo Prasad Yadav become the Prime Minister of our Country?! I'm looking forward to that day.

* How will Priyanka Gandhi look with long hair style?

* Will Atal Bihari Vajpayee ever say...

“Yeh … * silence * acchi baat hai ” ?? Eh?

* When will the most eligible spinsters of Indian Politics (Mamta n Maya, of course!) get married?

...Just Curious :)

* Will Aish dive into politics after marriage n kids??

Cuz’ according to the theory of relativity now a days:
Beauty Pageant --> Acting --> Politics

* " Mamta Ka Gussa kab Thandaa Hogaa " ?? :l

* How will Abdul Kalam look in Step-Cut?? I think it will suit his silky-hair-type.
What say ?

* When will the fans in Lok Sabha start rotating faster?! Will they be ever be replaced/repaired??

Thanks!
For reading my political rambling patiently :)

The Land of Coconuts

When it comes to traveling, even my ‘lazy’ base forgets that it is lazy.
:D

Duration: 3 days, 2 nights
Places Covered: Cochin & Munnar
Budget: It’s Free, yes FREE !! (If ur Dad happens to be ur ATM)

…We chose the bus as our mode of transport. After traveling for around eleven hours, what I first saw in Cochin was the rising sun. Crimson red reflection on the waters of Periyar(Aluva); big hoardings, advertising gold and sarees; churches filled with Sunday masses; serene atmosphere; was the first impression of this lovely place. Finally, I had made it to Kerala, one place that I always wanted to visit…
*YAWN* :O

I’ll bag the Pulitzer or Noble if I don’t stop (ok, now at least let me live in delusion for sometime )!! I want to give my “Uncut Diamonds” a chance!!
*wink*
:D

What I Just Loved about Kerala:

• The People
• Boats (Kettuvallam (Houseboat), Speed boat)
• The Pristine Nature
• Banana chips
• Coconut trees
• The Tapered roof

Places that I visited:

• Vaikom - the House boat & circling 26 Islands; Where the Guide pointed to one of the islands n said confidently “…on that island, 4 families stay…”. We nodded like good school students. I mean even if he had told us that one the elephants on that island gave birth to a donkey by mistake, we had no other go; but to nod (with no option to cross check).


• Munnar - Hilly Terrain, the Tea gardens (I wanted to roll on them; I still want to; Hope i will one day)
• Mattupetty Lake & the Speed Boat
• Cherai Beach
• Synagogue n the Dutch Museum
  It has a * Phoren Effect *
  
  The streets give the “not in India” effect. More foreigners, less Indians

What’s different in Kerala:

• Jeera Water (water which has been boiled with some Jeera(cumin seeds) in it)
• Vegetables are costlier than fishes.
• MG Road is deserted on Sundays and almost ALL shops are closed
  

What I can’t forget about Kerala:

• The Waiter, he banged the coffee cups on our table. I guess he was unhappy cuz we wanted coffee ONLY.
• The Guide, who enlightened us with the knowledge like - “this is the Tulsi Plant”!!
• Masala Dosas, which I struggled to finish cuz’ I didn’t quite like the taste of coconut oil.
• The Battle which I fought with the Battalion of Mosquitoes.
  Sadly, They Won :(
• But Hey!! I did manage to take “My khoon ka badlaa”(Revenge for my Blood?!) by massacring 4 Mosquitoes in the bathroom the next day.
  :D

What one should NOT forget when going to Kerala:

Camera

Dhoti (or a colourful Lungi)

Mosquito Repellent. (Thanks to which I survived the second night! :))

Purpose of writing this post:
Fighting Boredom in Office. Blogging is better than reading JSP.

Love :)

What Guys should NEVER wear ! ;)

/* The post is dedicated to all men who consider themselves "Metrosexual" (blend of metropolitan + heterosexual) * /

Oops, I can’t stop myself from using /* */ for comments!

The giant search engine helped me in listing the individuals who consider themselves metrosexual (one who spends a great amount of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle). The list not only includes personalities like David Beckham, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, (now how about some ‘Desi’s here) SRK, Manish Malhotra, Upen Patel… but also Donald Rumsfeld (21st United States Secretary of Defense).

Looking good is really good - it depicts ones personality .But, (there comes the but!) as men join the race to “look good”, few of them mess up as they dress up. I am NOT here to highlight what one should wear, but what one should NEVER wear! ;)

• The “Flowery” shirts: or call it Floral shirts! Who (the hell) said it looks good n trendy?! (That person needs some serious counseling :P) It's just good for the "Go-Goa" mood!

• Oh “Pinky”! : So what, if Saif Ali Khan flaunts his pink shirt ("Salaam Namaste", refer Bollywood)?? A man getting facials, manicures, and pedicures done is "Okay" BUT wearing pink?! Trust me dear ones, it suits guys more in reel life than in real life.

• Body hugging shirt: Let it adorn the body with curves ! If u don’t have one, try something else.

• Jhataang” Colours: AHH! One needs glasses to protect their eyes from the glare that’s caused by these “Jhataang” (flashy) wears. People who wear such colours (Fluorescent and its combinations) should be FINED!! Seriously!:D

• Red/Yellow Pants: I think here, I need some counseling. Why only red/yellow, when u have a wide range colours available?!

/* Will keep adding as in when I find men - who inspire me to write :P */

Now after getting those "valuable" tips (oh crap!), if you have decided to follow actor Salman Khan (wearing Nothing at all? OH NO!), I’ll have to come up with - “What Guys should wear!!" (This surely will be a disaster!) ;)

Take Care!